On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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