I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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