found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize