We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
