New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
