OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
