so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
