"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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