he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
