Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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