Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Me. At least after what I've been through.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize