Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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