What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
