Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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