I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
