508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
