Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
