Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
