omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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