This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
