We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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