idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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