Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
