The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
