i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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