so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
