Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
