Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
