Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
