woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
