'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
