Sry I called you an 8
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
