you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She just used a chaser for red wine.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
