How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
