I don't usually arrange sex via text message
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize
