I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
