omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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