It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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