This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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