I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
