Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize