FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
