yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
this beer tastes like vomit already
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She even gives head with a lisp.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
