In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize
