Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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