i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
