dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
