Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize