you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
