I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
