my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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