none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i out mim tonsoeep
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
