For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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