listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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