That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
