I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
