Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
