Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
