I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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