We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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