Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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