umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize