mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
