Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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