everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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