is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
