He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
