I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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