I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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