I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
