there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
