Im at strip club and am horny
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
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I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
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In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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